INTERNET EXCAVATION / SUBJECT REFUSES A SINGLE CATEGORY
I kept trying to explain what I do. Then I found the photos.
OPEN THE DRAWER MARKED “WHAT THE FUCK?” ↓ABOUT / THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN SIMPLE
I am Costas Schuler. Creative director when the problem needs direction. Designer when it needs form. Filmmaker when it needs movement. Welder when the object refuses to exist.
Most people choose a lane. I kept the receipts from all of them.
BRING ME THE THING THAT REFUSES TO BEHAVE ↗CLICK A PHOTO TO PULL IT FORWARD / DRAG IT ANYWHERE
MOVING EVIDENCE / PRESS PLAY OR LEAVE IT SUSPICIOUS
THE COSTAS INTERNET / 43 OBJECTS CURRENTLY LOOSE
Filter it. Stack it. Drag it somewhere else. Click anything to open the evidence. If you make it worse, congratulations: collaboration.
THE PEN GUY / 750,000+ DEAD PENS / ONE 1981 MERCEDES-BENZ
I covered a Mercedes in discarded pens and drove the evidence into art-car festivals, documentaries, television, and a life of its own. This was not a marketing stunt. It became the thing marketing departments wish they could manufacture.
PUBLIC RECORD / THE REVIEW THAT ALMOST KILLED MY BUSINESS
“I still do not have a website, after more than twenty months.”
A client hired me for a basic four-page book website and paid $2,350. She said I failed to understand the material, missed the project for more than twenty months, delivered piecemeal work with spelling and grammar errors, and left her trying to finish it herself.
When she confronted me, my answer included: Yeah, I suck at spelling.
That was not honesty. That was me using personality as an excuse for bad professional behavior.
THE PART WORTH PUTTING ON BLAST
Five years later, I publicly thanked her. The review forced me to look directly at how badly talent behaves when it has no process, no accountability, and no respect for somebody else’s deadline.
I cannot undo that project. I can make sure the failure stays visible enough to keep teaching me.
READ THE PUBLIC REVIEW + MY RESPONSE ↗THE OLD SITE / NOW PRESERVED INSIDE THIS ONE
PUBLICATION DEPARTMENT / APPARENTLY WE HAVE ONE NOW
OPEN THE BOOK ↗BOOK 01 / AUTHOR / SEPTEMBER 26, 2024
Thirty-eight chapters of political parody built from verbal gymnastics, contradictions, evasions, and the strange modern miracle of saying many words without allowing meaning to escape.
THE SHORTS THAT ESCAPED CONTAINMENT / RANKED BY PUBLIC VIEW COUNT
SELF-HELP ENTERED THE BUILDING / REALITY CALLED SECURITY
ORIGINAL INTERNET DAMAGE / TABLOID TRANSMISSION / OBJECTS YOU CAN WEAR
SLOPSHOP / 48 OBJECTS CURRENTLY LOOSE ON ETSY
01SLOP ROASTED / MADE TO ORDER16 Million Human Brain Cells — Tabloid T-Shirt$29.95 / OPEN ON ETSY ↗
02SLOP ROASTED / MADE TO ORDERMay the Flock Be With You — Surveillance T-Shirt$27.95 / OPEN ON ETSY ↗
03SLOP ROASTED / MADE TO ORDERMom Fired! — Tabloid T-Shirt$29.95 / OPEN ON ETSY ↗
04SLOP ROASTED / MADE TO ORDERSky Saw Declares War — Tabloid T-Shirt$29.95 / OPEN ON ETSY ↗
05SLOP ROASTED / MADE TO ORDERFlying Tank Found Alive! — Tabloid T-Shirt$29.95 / OPEN ON ETSY ↗
06SLOP ROASTED / MADE TO ORDERCat Sent to Silence Him! — Tabloid T-Shirt$29.95 / OPEN ON ETSY ↗
19 VIDEOS / EVERYTHING THAT REFUSED THE NEW LABELS
SEARCH DEBRIS / INTERNAL INDEX / NOTHING THROWS YOU OUT
SO WHAT DO I DO?
Then I use whatever the problem deserves: brand, site, film, automation, archive, welding torch, or an impolite combination.
GIVE ME THE PROBLEM ↗
